As a part of growing to be a better person I felt that I should do more in this world and I felt that God was tugging me in different direction. So with the encouragement of family and friends I went on a mission trip.
The man that was heading it up was named Jeff. He was a likable guy and we hit it off while we were overseas.
Now this particular trip we were doing construction and all sorts of other related work.
Practically the whole time we were there it was cold and rainy. We were assign to take these mud bricks out of these old shed and throw them out in the main yard so the rain would break them down and they were also hoping that the government would send a bulldozer to process the land.
Close to the end of that work assignment the person directing our work told us that this large hole had to be filled in.
Well Jeff stated that we should not worry about it if a bulldozer was coming that it could take care of the hole in one pass. Well, that did not sit too well with our boss and a little exchange started.
In the end, Jeff realized that he was wrong in questioning the orders. We were there for the people and we had to do it their way…not ours.
So Jeff decided to punish himself. He was going to fill in the hole by himself.
After a couple of minutes I decided to help him. He protested at first until I told him we were all there for a reason and I was there to support him as well. Bad or Good. I was there.
Apparently that simple act of helping impacted him. I did it because I felt I was being led to.
A couple of years later, Jeff ended his own life and I learned that he suffered from depression. No one knew except a couple of people that he was fighting with.
I wish I had known. So from that day on I try to be a better friend to everyone that I interact with.
From time to time I remember that day of standing with Jeff and filling a large hole. I wish his mental hole had not been so large and elusive.
Suicide is never an answer and we don’t know how God judges that. I guess I will see when I am in the presence of the Father whether or not if Jeff made it there. I hope so. But it’s not up to me.
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Buddy…what a nice tribute to a friend. I am sorry for everyone’s loss.
I have suffered from fatigue and depression and it was not until recently that I announced it. I am also extremely introverted and those two things are a recipe for friends isolating you, not because you want it but because they don’t try to understand the urgency of your pleas and concerns.
I have received intense treatment (with no meds) and am pleased to report that I have been almost depression free for two winters. I still have moments with some anxiety.
Depression is no different than cancer or any other illness. You wouldn’t ask people with those ailments to do things that may cause stress – you would let a doctor treat them. They need rest, respect and love.
I mention these things because there is lots of help available but the true help comes in understanding, educating and supporting people…and not just those that are depressed. For that reason one of my main web thrusts is helping people (in particular introverts) cope with life, and not just helping people learn about green living.
There are many tools and resources available but you hit the nail on the head with your thoughts on being a better friend – we need more buddy’s in the world (sorry for the pun). Thank you for sharing and caring.